are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize