Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
