dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
