I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
