No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
