Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize