Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Dignity is for republicans.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
