so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
