my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
