i just had sex bonerless
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
