Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
