So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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