just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm bleeding and have questions
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
