It's just like the Real World with babies
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
