Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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