Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
