keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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