Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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