Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
