I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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