Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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