If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
