You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
