I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize