She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Someone signed my nipple.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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