i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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