i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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