plz talk dirty to me
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
