He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish I only lived at night.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
