i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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