I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
