Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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