what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
