How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
In America we eat man semen.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
