how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
