Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
