I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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