cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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