I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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