i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
