also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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