you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
