Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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