Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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