belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
