Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
sarcasm needs its own font
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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