So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
