i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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