Heybabeimwearingurpanties
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
