yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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