That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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