No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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