Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
