Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
