I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
did you just send me my own nude
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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