idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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