so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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