I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
