just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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