goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
