Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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