batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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