I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
