so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
