She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
