It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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