I'm eating all of the evidence.
You can't motorboat a personality
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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