oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
