i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
