the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
