yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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