i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
